Danvers' and Jess' Most Excellent Agreement
July 15, 2021
I. We are friends and colleagues who have worked on and off together for 15 years.
II. We are both productive, competent, flawed guys who can veer off-course.
III. When the other acts in a way that we do not like or agree with, we intend to discuss the action as soon as possible, understanding that it may not hit our radar immediately.
IV. We understand that to do this involves:
- Stating what happened in as un-objectionable a way as possible.
- Sharing what happened inside us (feelings/perceptions) as a 'microscopic truth,' taking ownership of 'what' happened inside us, without anchoring to the 'why.'
- Bringing true curiosity to the discussion.
V. We see patterns in ourselves that are worthy of attention in these regards:
- I suffer from shiny object syndrome; staying focused on a single project can be challenging.
- I can “disappear” without warning for days or sometimes weeks.
- I sometimes use work I like to avoid work that's important.
- As a verbal processor, I can communicate with greater certainty than I intend.
- I can be unconstructive and dramatic when I assess others.
- I am used to being in charge and can act autocratically.
- I can take it personally when alliances reach their natural conclusion (end), rather than accepting the cyclical nature of relationships.
As a team, we can stop work without getting to 100% done:
- Not retro-ing an activity.
- Not creating documentation that can be referenced with a public URL.
- Not disseminating that URL to appropriate parties.
VI. We commit, as colleagues, to try to realize the above ideals.